The Easter Bunny is a Jerk

My daughter woke me up this morning because she needed to get ready to go to church with my parents. Yes, she woke ME up, as usual the 5 year old is more responsible than I am.

So, she’s pulling up her tights and I notice her Easter basket sitting on the couch with the junk in it from the Easter egg hunt yesterday. The Easter Bunny apparently forgot to come to our house last night.

Sigh…and that’s a really big sigh. If I could I’d choke that damn bunny.

I told my daughter the Easter Bunny might come while she’s gone to church. But how am I going to answer all of those questions when she gets back…like what did mommy and the Easter Bunny talk about? Did we hang out and sip tea for a second?

By the way, it’s my year for the Easter dinner. Everyone that knows me knows that I don’t cook so putting together a ham and a dinner is as silly as me becoming a rap star. As a matter of fact, I think the ham might be done but since I have no idea how to tell it’s still cooking. This will explain why every cooking recipe I ever write is overly simplistic. That’s how I cook. If there’s a lot of reading involved in the recipe or ingredients I’ve never heard of, I don’t make it.

Anyway, I better go check on that ham and make sure it’s not black. Plus I still have to figure out how to explain (lie) to my daughter how the Easter Bunny brought her stuff today while she was gone instead of last night when she was sleeping like he does at everyone else’s house…

O…the tangled web we weave…