RIP Dead Television and No We Aren't Poor

Maybe the title is too aggressive. I actually feel kind of bad making fun of a dead television.

Especially when it’s not really dead. That’s kind of like laughing at Big Celebrity Died but Didn’t Really Die on the internet. You know what I mean. Last week it was Dennis Hopper. (I didn’t laugh, by the way.) But he didn’t really die and Dennis Hopper Died was all over the internet and trending like crazy.

Anyway. (This is where I digress.) I finally canceled my Dish Network after wishing for a year that I would cancel it. Every stinkin month I paid that bill I wondered what the hell I was paying for. We watched two out of the I guess 500 channels (which is a fluke if you know what I’m talking about). One was SpongeBob channel (whatever that is) and the other was Cooking channel aka Food Network and I don’t even cook.

Not. Not. Not. Worth almost $70 a month. I have blogged about this at www.missbankrupt.com so if you read that blog, sorry about the repeat. I’m posting about it here because I am afraid we’re going to look like poor people.

What’s Wrong with Being Poor?

Okay, whatever. We can all act like we don’t give a flying fish what people think and normally I really don’t. Seriously, I really don’t. Except when it comes to “poor” I absolutely can’t stand for people to think we might be. Or are.  I’m struggling to keep mid class status my friends. I have crossed the poverty line (don’t believe me, ask the energy assistance people. I’m rich.)

I prefer to call us “budgeting”. That’s what I call it. I also call it sick of paying for satellite television no one stinkin watches. So I canceled it. We’re not poor. I choose to have a dead television sitting in my house and just taking up space. If I didn’t keep the T.V.(s) people might think we’re Amish. Not that there’s anything wrong with being Amish.

Now What? We are Weirdos…Officially

We hadn’t even turned on the television for a couple weeks before I canceled it, and now we’ve been watching Snow Dogs over and over again. I’m getting pretty sick of Snow Dogs, by the way, but that only cost me $10.00. Once. We can watch Snow Dogs until I figure out how Cuba Gooding, Jr.’s real dad in the movie is white. Or until the cows come home. Whichever happens first.

And, I’m saving almost $70 and I’m not wondering why I keep paying for two channels a month. I’ve been getting a strange feeling though when the television is on, like the satellite is spying on us. Or it’s there but isn’t. really. there.

Are We Cut Off From Reality Now?

Not unless the rest of the world consists of SpongeBob, Patrick Starfish and that girl Squirrel, with visits from Guy Fieri and the Iron Chefs. Plus I watched “Confessions of a Superhero” on Hulu on my laptop the other night. If you want a peek at reality, watch that. Nothing says “real life” more than a bunch of people dressed up like superheroes, waiting for their big break on Hollywood Blvd. Next I’m going to watch “Supersize Me” so I can see how one almost kills ones self to make a documentary about stuffing one’s face with Big Macs for a month. That’s enough reality to last me a couple more months.

I May Live to Regret This

I may not. Any suggestions for spending my extra $70 a month? (Anyone have any extra DVDs?)

***Disclaimer:  No televisions were actually harmed in the writing of this post. Nor were any satellite dishes or cable companies, although at times in the way, way past it may have been considered but if something happened I didn’t do it.

***My television isn’t really dead. Just useless and taking up space and my proof that we aren’t poor. Or Amish.