What I Mean When I Say I Love You

It means different things to different people. How many times has a good friend told you with tears in their eyes, “he said he loved me.” We assume that he/she is a lying bastard. Because if you really love someone you wouldn’t make them feel the way your friend does.

But I love you doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. To me, it means that I adore you with my entire soul. This is how it was defined when I first found out I was pregnant. This is what it means to me when I tell my daughter forty times a day. I love you, with everything that is me for no reason at all. I have never told someone forty times a day that I love them, nor have I ever loved someone as I love her.

To a 6 year old, it means I like you. You smell good. You’re nice to me. We play cops and robbers together, and even though I always have to be the robber…I love you. (See the post about her telling everyone at school that she loves them.) I have discussed with her that it should mean more and she has eased up on her loviness but at this point, we still see this phrase through completely different eyes.

Maybe to you it means you like that person and enjoy hanging out,

maybe it means you sure hope nothing bad ever happens to that person,

maybe it even means you feel as though you could not live without them,

and if one day you figure out you don’t really want to hang out anymore

or you do hope something bad happens to them

or you figure out you could very easily live without them and would actually like to,

then you don’t love them anymore. Maybe.

And if this happens to be the definition in your eyes, than it’s not a lie. You are not a lying bastard, because the feelings you felt when you said you loved them aren’t true anymore, which means your love isn’t either. Not everyone believes love is forever. Ask my daughter.

Some people say it easily because it doesn’t mean the same thing as it may to you. With my entire soul? With everything that is me? That’s pretty serious and to most it isn’t.

We should be on the same page. We should make sure we know what it means to the other person. It isn’t always a lie. Sometimes, it’s a misunderstanding.

A difference in definition.