What Does Dinner Mean?

By Solitary Mama On 2010/07/12 · 3 Comments · In I Don't Know Where Else to Put This

Dinner in its literal sense of course means the following:

Consumption of good food.

I added “good” because I don’t believe anyone goes to “dinner” at McDonald’s or somewhere crappy on purpose. Not this kind of dinner anyway.

My question is though, when asked to dinner by someone of the opposite sex, what exactly does “dinner” mean?

I asked two people. One said, “A man is always interested. He only settles for friendship if he absolutely has to.”

The other said, “Dinner always means interest.” (And later inferring sexual interest.)

So if I am asked to dinner, does this automatically mean the person is interested in something? Does dinner ever mean “I just want to consume good food with ya.”?

Can We All Just Eat?

1. It has to depend upon who’s asking. Is he a stranger at the grocery store? Is he a good friend? Is he a coworker? According to one source, none of this makes a difference. Accepting a dinner invite basically means you have checked the “yes” box on the “do you like me” question. Personally, if I am asked to dinner in the vegetable section at the grocery store, I’m assuming dude is impressed by my method of selecting broccoli.

Just kidding. Really. Everyone knows men dig carrots.

On the grocery store note (which includes Walmart) I’m not sure it’s safe to accept random invites anyway. Women inviting men in the grocery store are a different story though, right? I would suggest the meat section in that case, though. Holy cow do men like meat. But I digress…

2. Other randoms that aren’t really strangers. Gym rats, for example. They’re not really strangers. You may even know their names. You probably see them regularly. They may have even blocked the machine you were going to use to ask you out. How presumptuous is it to conclude that a person is really into you when they only see you as a sweatball in shorts and a tank top? It can’t be too ridiculous to think they may want to just eat and chat about protein drinks.

3. Coworkers. Sticky situation with coworkers and dinner. I have been advised that one on one with coworkers is possibly more than shop talk. Happy Hour with everyone at the office is well…Happy Hour and not really dinner anyway. Unless you count hot wings and nachos as dinner. Dinner with a coworker cannot possibly mean interest. Or maybe I just refuse to imagine any such thing with any of my coworkers.

4. Good friends and everyone else I can’t think of. Dinner with a good friend of the opposite sex is (to me) like going to dinner with your brother or sister, who I’m assuming are not interested in anything further than hanging out and eating. If a good friend was ever interested it had to be so long ago no one cares. I have been told that this means they’ve settled for now and are just waiting. Not sure I believe in that theory because really, who has time for that?

5. I have a boyfriend or huz or other statement that means no chance. If you mention boyfriend or huz (even if the bf or huz is very very far away), or that you’re a lesbian or that you’re on meds for attachment issues, and the person still asks you to dinner it can’t possibly mean they’re interested in something other than hanging out.

My point is that dinner cannot possibly always mean I want you. Maybe I’m wrong. Whether you are male, female, transexual, bisexual, married, single, whatever…help me out here. What does it mean to you when you are asked to dinner? Do you ever ask someone out…just to eat?

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Comments

comments

Meya

Lunch… Dinner… To me is a personal and intimate experience. I mean this is where your true nature will most likely appear… Mannerism, etiquette, finicky taste, etc. That being said, to be asked to dinner by the opposite sex may not always mean, “let’s jump in the sack” per se but it is definitely asking for more than innocence. The gesture is typically more of generosity with an idea if getting more personal… But I believe there is definitely intent!! Intent for what you may ask? Well… Let’s leave that open for discussion
Jake

I think that if a female coworker ask me if I want to eat lunch with her, I would not take it as she making an advance on me. Now if she ask me to go out for dinner, I wouldn’t be so sure about her seeking just to have dinner. I would believe dinner the move made to take us away from everybody else and bring us together into a more intimate atmosphere. The expectations doesn’t need to be sex, but defenity there is more than just eating a meal. I would think she wants to meet me in a more personal level, which if she isn’t married and attractive, I wouldn’t mind exploring.

Having a boyfriend or else doesn’t make a difference for many. At times it increases the excitement by adding a touch of challenge to the whole game. To me if I ever ask a woman to join me for dinner will be if I am somehow attracted to her. It could be physically or mentally. In the event of her accepting my invitation will mean that she is, in her own way, interested. I mean, we are all grown ups and know what this means. Dinner Between two people of opposite sex is an intimate time in a place where the lights are dimmed and you can perceive a little romance.

When I was a child I would have never thought of a girl having an interest on me because she asked me out to dinner. At that time it was the movie theater the hint to show an interest between a boy and a girl. Growing out of childhood dinner became that intimate place where you take women old enough to at least kiss if the opportunity shows.

But that is just what my opinion is and I am sure that many other people could agree or disagree with it. I don’t know. What would you say if I ask you to join me for dinner? I will be awaiting on your answer…
Todd Jacobs

I think I am too passive in that situation when invited by a woman or a woman leads me to invite her. I do have female friends married and single. I think when a female friend is single I always let them dictate the type of dinner experience. Of course if she is married i want no part of bad karma so def no moves at all and co workers never. I use to teach classes about sexual harrassment–not how to do it but how to stay out of trouble and not do something stupid like ask a co-worker on a date or worse. Great topic and great presentation. I guess why that ends up with me being a nce guy and considered not outgoing enough. I have enough confidence though that I don’t need a relationship until the time is right. When the right person comes along it will click and that will be that. Love reading your take on things.. Hope you decide to write more often on your site.