Mother’s Day and How A Single Mother Gets Down

I am fully aware that by the time this post publishes, it will no longer be Mother’s Day. I never thought I could be relevant according to Google guidelines anyway and since I haven’t quite figured out how to alter time (though I will) for now you have to put up with posts that are post-holiday. Plus, in real life, I’m usually a day behind. I’m in my own timezone.

First off, you may think that single mothers get shafted on Mother’s Day but I have to say that it has never been the case for me. I have realized that Mother’s Day should actually be about my daughter because after all, if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t even be a mother. And let’s be honest, if people were allowed to vote on who should be a mom…they probably wouldn’t pick me. (Speaking of voting…don’t forget the Circle of Moms button over there—–>)

This year, my daughter made a rock into a lady bug for the garden. I’m teaching it how to beg for caramel corn.

She also made a card that says “Thank you for buying me clothes”. I did tell her she didn’t have to thank me for clothes, because I’m supposed to clothe her, but she said her teacher told them to write something nice that their moms do for them. It’s not like she could honestly write “thanks for baking me cookies”. So, I thanked her in return for wearing said clothes. Nakedness is illegal. And we are law abiding.

We usually go out to eat for Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day and most other holidays including St. Patrick’s Day and Columbus Day and Saturdays. Sometimes Sundays.) My daughter said she wanted a pedicure because “they wash your feet” so we went for pedis. Of course, I try the opposite town that I should have because all of the nail shops (ok, there’s only one) were closed. It’s Sunday.

We ended up driving through Burger King and headed back in the opposite direction about 30 minutes to find a nail shop. That’s cool, right? Who wants to beat down an hour long line of moms at Applebee’s anyway? Plus, we had a chance to conversate and learn important stuff while driving. Like why my daughter thinks the BK Chicken Tendercrisp looks like a butt. “I would never eat that. It totally looks like a butt.”

Hmmm. Now I don't want one either.

I forgot to mention that it’s pouring down rain and still not really warm here. I wore bright orange sandals because, well we’re getting pedis and also because I thought it was funny.

We ended up at the mall out of fear that NO nail shop would be open.  After walking past no more than 10 stores, my stupid bright orange sandals had literally eaten the skin off the top of my foot.  I suddenly remembered why I don’t wear those damn orange sandals. Needless to say, we ended up buying new sandals.

I figured out something else. I am so onto those hustlin nail shop chicks. They purposely ask if you want all of these fabulous extra things to jack up the price. My daughter is 7. Why does she need a sea salt leg massage? I JUST WANT MY SCRAPED UP FEET FIXED. NO FANCY STUFFS, PLEASE. And paint her toes pretty while you’re at it. Thank you.

She chose hot pink. I chose blue. I begged her to pick a stupider color than mine but she wouldn’t. Oh well.

(I was going to add pictures of our feet but after trying to manipulate my daughter’s foot while she’s sleeping I decided it was hella creepy.)

Happy Mother’s Day all! Hope it was as awesome as mine.