Lost and Found: Wherein My Blog Dies and Is Resurrected

“Lost and Found” is the GBE2 topic this week and again it’s funny how these things just happen to fit into my pretty much, uneventful life.

As you can tell from the craziness of this blog, I like Plugins. Note the many Facebook, Twitter, Comment-y things. Sometimes I add a poll with things that no one cares about. I am constantly adding Plugins to the blog and never delete any of them. Exhibit B: Check out the Sidebars. And while you’re at it follow or like the Fanpage.

I am also equally obsessed with blog themes. WordPress themes to be exact (since this is what I’ve worked with forever). If you ever want to witness an online circus, stop by my blog around 2 a.m. on the weekends. This is when delirium sets in and I decide I need a new theme. I blame it on my weekend habit of overdosing on Sunchips and apple juice. Like rockstar overdosing.

Last weekend you would’ve witnessed a circus that had been plowed over by one of those plow things. (You missed it? Too bad. Not really.) I adore this current theme, but there are things I don’t like and so I’m constantly looking for THE theme that encompasses all of my needs and desires (we’re still talking about WordPress themes. Stick with me.)

It was bound to happen and after trying out a number hundred Free WordPress Themes courtesy of the Googlenator, I ended up with one called Mainam (or something. I ended up traumatized and don’t really recall. In any event steer clear of any themes that resemble the word Mainam).

Apparently that theme didn’t work and everything pretty much froze up with a long string of random words and letters. I seem to recall seeing “error” somewhere in there. I brilliantly decided to go into my cpanel, which I’ve ventured into a total of 3 times since having this blog and delete pain in the ass theme. This resulted in a white screen every time I tried to go to my blog. (If you saw that, I meant to do it.)

Whatever, right? It’s a blog. Just start a new one. So says you who doesn’t blog. Anyone that blogs knows that you can’t replace two years of history just by starting over. I bet you’d buy your kid a new dog and pretend like it’s the one that died too, wouldn’t you?

After panicking and clicking on a bunch of stuff, which is my normal procedure when I panic, I decide I had better stop and ask someone before I completely screwed everything up. The brilliant and awesome peeps at the WordPress forum immediately messaged me back with…”You can still log in–here.”

And so I did and reverted back to this theme and all was well at about 4 a.m.

This is what happened last time I tried to change my theme.

What I Learned from Almost Deleting My Entire Blog

• Don’t randomly click on a bunch of buttons. Sure you already knew that. Whatever.
• Ask for help. Even if it takes days for someone to respond. They know what they’re doing. Or did you think they hung out in WordPress forums for no reason?
• Export and backup your blog. I actually had to import my blog from a file once (I told you I mess stuff up a lot) and having that file helped me more than a two headed leprechaun with a pot o gold. This is why I freaked out the most—I knew I hadn’t exported since around 2009.
• It takes a lot to delete and lose your entire blog. If I haven’t yet, there’s a good chance that you won’t. White screens and error messages do not mean Harold Camping was right or that it is really the end of the world. Breathe.
• Don’t work on themes past 1 a.m. Evil things happen after that. Trust me, I know.

By the way, all WordPress theme designers get at me. The circus is in need of assistance. And by circus I mean the blog. Thanks.