Guess Who Asked Me Out #2 and Why I Probably Said No

Ok. But I get to drive.

I told you I had a Guess Who Asked Me Out Part 2. Did you really think no one ever asks me out? Pshhh…I’m hot. And I know I am, because she tells me all the time and she’s hot so she knows what she’s talking about.  I get asked out so much…never mind, not true and I don’t want to lie.

Anyway, #2 begins with me sitting in my office again. This time, there is no future-me in the waiting area, because as you remember, #1 was Me in the Future asking Me in the Present out, and this time I wasn’t trying to not piss anyone off. I was seriously working. The receptionist comes into my office to ask me if Guess Who Asked Me Out #2 had a bill to pay and if he did, how much.

Me:  Well, no. He hasn’t been here in like two years. He paid that a long time ago.

Receptionist: He’s here asking how much he owes.

So I pull up the accounting and as I had guessed- no bill in two years. Dude hasn’t even been in the office for longer than that.

Me:  No. Tell him he paid it a long time ago.

The receptionist returns to the waiting area and tells #2 there is no bill. At this point, I’m wondering if I’m missing anything and look quickly in a couple other places. I can still hear them talking though and #2 is asking the receptionist “Well, is Christina here?” as if he doesn’t believe the receptionist,  so I go out to find out what’s going on.

Me:  Hi, #2. You don’t have a bill. You paid for everything a long time ago. A really long time ago.

#2:  Oh. I thought maybe I still owed something.

Me:  Nope. You’re good. (Again, it’s been a couple damn years, dude.)

#2:  Well, I also wanted to know about this other thing I did when I sold this other property to this other person…blah blah blah.

Me:  I’m sure it’s fine, but if you want me to check with the attorney later I will.

#2:  Okay. Well you know I just want to make sure…something something something.

Me:  Give me your number and I’ll have him call you.

#2 writes down his number and continues to rambly rambly on. Again, I tell him someone will call later. Finally, while he’s taking a breath in between repeating the same uhhs over and over, I tell him “Okay, thanks for stopping in, have a great weekend,” and start to walk away.

Then #2 yells out as if someone has kicked him really hard, “ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING THIS WEEKEND?”

And suddenly, I’m all like rambly rambly uhhhhhh…

#2 yells again: WANNA GO FOR A MOTORCYCLE RIDE?

Me:  Uhhhh…no, I have to do something with my kid. Something that I have planned but totally can’t think of right now. It’s something important too.

I should note here that the last time #2 was in the office (over 2 years ago) he was married and I actually know the wifey a little.

Me: Are you guys (meaning dude, I know your wife) still living in Hooterville?

#2: No, I moved with my parents….something something something. I’m thinking about going camping this weekend.

Me:  Yes. YOU should go camping. It’s a great weekend for you guys to go camping. Okay, now see you later. Have a great time!

And I dip back into the safety of my office.

Why I Did Not Go Out With #2 and Why I May Possibly Hide From Him From Now On

1.  Motorcycle rides are fun but this is not how you get to know someone. Especially someone that you know so little about that you aren’t even sure whether they are married or not. Motorcycle rides, along with movie theaters, do not make good first dates because of this reason.

2.  Ambushing me at work is awkward. Everyone in the office also assumed #2 was married and was totally freaked out by the conversation. My coworkers know nothing about me except that I work there and I’d like to keep it that way.

3.  The married or not issue was never clarified. For all I know, you and your wife are living with your parents. Which makes everything about your office visit even weirder.

To be fair, I did learn later that #2 is no longer married and in the last couple years has been kicked out of various girlfriends’ homes for being a drunk. I’m not judging and this is hearsay, just letting you know what I’ve heard.

And on the flip side, it is a nice gesture to stop back at the office after your business has been concluded and it is always a good thing to be remembered.

Even if it’s two years later.

My Questions for You

• Should I have gone out with him?
• Should I stay in my office and never come out?
• And the even bigger, more important question…is there a Guess Who Asked Me Out #3,

or are YOU #3…