Guess Who’s Getting the Finger?

When my daughter was younger she took the middle finger/naughty finger thing very seriously. So much so that if someone waved it around, pointed at something, or even looked at it too long, she’d gasp and ask them to “please stop because that’s the naughty finger” while swatting at their hand like an old lady.

I have already had an incident where she dropped the F bomb in Kindergarten. Obviously it was in the best interest of my reputation as a half way decent parent to keep letting her be the middle finger police. In fact, she just yelled “you can’t take a picture of your middle finger!” (Like all moms don’t do this crap.)

But I really wanted to tell her that if you’re not flipping someone the bird, there is really no purpose for the middle finger. Seriously. When was the last time you used it for something other than flipping the bird? I’ll let you think about that.

The truth is, the sole purpose of the middle finger is for giving people a big EFF YOU especially when driving. There is simply no other body part you can use to get your point across while keeping at least one hand on the steering wheel. And, sometimes yelling doesn’t work either, like when the window is closed  or when children can hear you. The middle finger is the only weapon you need for super secret ninja style cussing.

Otherwise, the only other purpose for the middle finger is to keep from being falsely accused of throwing up gang signs.

Ew. Guess I do need that finger.

Not only do I ponder the meaning of the middle finger and other important things, I’m also all  about inventing and pioneering so I decided to make my own award. I know, I’m kind of like Einstein sometimes but with super much nicer hair.

This award is called The Finger Award and should be awarded to whomever you feel deserves it. Even people that don’t even know you’re giving it to them. So here it is officially:

The Finger Award

Winners of Just the Finger

People that insist on wearing those nasty, dirty plaid pajama pants in public along with their nasty dirty t-shirts. I rant about this ALL the time and it’s only getting worse. No one is effing listening to me so EFF YOU dirty-pajamas-in-public-wearing-losers. All of you.

AND… bloggers who are blogging pictures of their socks and calling it blogging. Please for the love of WordPress entertain me.  Also Wordless Wednesday is most of the time annoying.

Winners of the Finger Award 

I’m passing on The Finger Award to people I like not to say eff you but to give you a chance to give the finger to people who don’t know it and to pass it along as well.

AtypicalRead - Just because he’s weird and says inappropriate random stuff.

Bubblegum On My Shoe - Bitchery Triad

Don’t Call Me Marge - Bitchery Triad

The Lauryn Doll - Pretty sure she gives people the finger often and in person.

Word Nerd Speaks – She always gives me nice awards.

Joseph Pinto - He also gave me an award I haven’t passed on yet. Yes, I’m lazy and probably rude for giving these people a finger award.

Pass it along and link back. Because in case you didn’t figure it out yet, blog awards are really all about the giver which is me me and me. ¹

Who would you like to give the finger to?