Minnesota: Where I’m From. Sort Of.

By Solitary Mama On 2012/02/21 · 16 Comments · In Solitary Mama

Not sure if Army brats are ever from anywhere. I was born and adopted from Korea, but yet I don’t think I’m really from there either. It’s more what I am than where I’m from.

We lived everywhere and moved a lot. I moved even when I didn’t have to anymore. That sort of transience sticks with you sometimes.

I'm From Minnesota. Sort Of.

My father retired from the military at damn near the age I am right now. Sitting at my laptop, typing about Minnesota and not really doing anything important or accomplishing anything of any great significance. Mine is yet to come, I believe. Most of the moving and traveling was good. But for some reason, I promised myself I wouldn’t move my child around.

So I live in Minnesota. My family is from Minnesota which means, although I am Asian, have never really lived here and was not born here, I’m kind of from Minnesota. I hate the tiny rural area I live in. It smothers you like a little box. I think that’s why so many people here are uptight. They’ve been born and bred in this box and they don’t know that there’s anything outside of the box. In fact, they’re not only afraid of leaving the box…they’re afraid of what’s outside of the box. Do not mention what goes on outside of the box. We’re fine in here, thank you very much.

They do strange things here that I’ve never seen anywhere else. They take their outdoor activities very seriously. I don’t really like bugs and being dirty.

Roughin it has never been my sort of thing. In any context. They’ll eat a squirrel off the highway but tell you sushi sounds disgusting.

Minnesota nice exists. Sometimes. I wouldn’t say it’s anything over and beyond say, Arkansas nice or Florida nice. Minnesota nice is actually behaving like you’re supposed to, to be honest. In fact, if you’re not from around here and you don’t know who’s who, you’ll find Minnesota nasty quite easily.

I guess this is my attempt at making up for my rant on Facebook about racist people and being tired of the idiots here. Because, as the locals say, if you don’t like it, you can always leave.

And as far as states go, I’m here for a reason. So it can’t be all that bad.

One day, my daughter will thank me. Or maybe she won’t. I don’t know. I hope with everything I have that some day I’ll get a hold of this place.

Or if I don’t, have the strength to follow the advice of the locals.

And leave the box.

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http://www.beardandpigtails.com/ Beard

I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere, but it’s more about the single dad life thing than where I live.

There’s good and bad people everywhere, you’ll run into friends and tools alike, regardless of the state. If your town won’t play nice, they’ve forced your hand: chuck a lit bag of Fido-poo on their redneck doorstep and run.
Beard recently posted..A Day in the Life Of – Tuesday

Solitary Mama

Oh I know, and I have met lots of good people. Never would’ve guessed in a milli I’d end up here, though.

http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Cari, Miss Minnesota 19something-or-never

Holla! I live here, and I kinda like it. I take no responsibility for the Jesse Ventura thing whatsoever. Anyhoo {minnesotan} I think Minnesota nice does exist, but because there are some genuinely nice people here, not because they happen to live in Minnesota and there’s something in the water. It snows 8/12 months here, we are fighting serious vitamin D deficiencies, so the fact that anyone is nice at all is amazing. I grew up in the South and let me say, southern hospitality beats MN nice. Small towns are the same where ever you go, because it becomes a bubble, when you see the same people, same thing day after day, anything new or different is scary or threatening. I don’t think you’re taking a poll, but in case you are, I vote you move to the big city. Or just send up some sort of triad smoke signal and I’ll rescue you. You won’t find city squirrels dead on the road around here, so you have to eat Sushi. Where’s the pic of the Scouts selling cookies in -10 degrees?
Cari, Miss Minnesota 19something-or-never recently posted..What I’m Addicted To Now: Oh Snap, Moo-Moos

Solitary Mama

You know what? I just realized I was complaining about selling GS cookies in arctic weather like last week. I’m pretty sure Minnesota Tourism is going to kick me out of the state soon. Seriously thinking of the big city. You know, like loading up the beverly hillbillies (meaning me and kid) and moving where we have to eat sushi.

http://darkstormyloopy.blogspot.com/ WowThatWasAwkward

I have always wondered why people live in Minnesota. I left Chicago in large part to get away from the weather. I concur 100% though that every decision I make should be filtered thru how good that choice is for my kids. Thank goodness I didn’t have kids til I was in Colorado!!
WowThatWasAwkward recently posted..Year of the Travels

Solitary Mama

Yeah, I couldve waited until I was in Hawaii but that would’ve been never and plus my family lives here. Figure family is good for the kid especially when you’re a single parent.

http://www.suesnutritionbuzz.com/ sunithi

I moved a bit in my life ( not as a kid) but as grown up. India to the Middle East, back to India and then here to the States. It was tough for me since I tend to get attached to friends & each time I though I was leaving a piece of me behind. but life goes on & at every place you meet new people & make new friends & old friends always stay as a pleasant memory. Now there’s also FB & social media to keep in touch. It’s harder on kids though, so I hope you get to stay in Minnesota till yr kid is grown but then again as long as she has you & you dont move her around too much I bet she’ll be Ok even if you decide to move.
sunithi recently posted..Smoothie Central: For The Jazziest Nutrient Spiked Recipes Ever !

Solitary Mama

Well, we went through that as kids and back then there was no keeping in touch via fb and cell phone. We had snail mail and after about 4 letters back and forth we’d just forget about it, I think. I do remember how hard that part was and wouldn’t want to put my daughter through that if I can help it.

Mike

I wasn’t from a military family, but we moved around a lot when I was a kid, first because of divorce, then because of graduate school, then divorce again. Probably not as much as you, but I think when you grow up like that, you don’t have a fear of picking up everything and moving in the same way that people who have lived in one place their entire lives. I’ve made some similar pledges about my kids, but I’ve felt at various stages that I wouldn’t mind just getting away from the BS that’s cluttered my life wherever I am. One thing that keeps me here in the Seattle area is the experience I’ve had here without the kinds of racism you encounter.

My ex-wife was born in Korea and adopted and raised in Iowa. The racism there wasn’t as overt as you’d imagine all the time, but it was baked in at a very root level. This is a woman with model good looks whose subconscious self loathing manifested in ways like refusing to eat Asian food of any kind, for fear that it would make her seem more Asian (and different). There were lots of little signs that pointed to her being deeply affected (and effected) by subtle, daily otherness. I connected to it immediately because I grew up half-black/half-white in rural Indiana. I remembered being told in 6th grade that a girl would like to be my girlfriend, but her daddy wouldn’t let her because I was “black”. For the record, I was paler than her tanning-bed tan, but that didn’t really matter in a town of 1500 people where everyone knew everyone’s parents. This brings me back to why I will probably never move anywhere other than here (or someplace like it). My daughter is half-Korean, half half/half (which is really more like eighth Cherokee, 4/5th black, some Irish, Jewish, German, Russian – what have you). Here in Redmond/Seattle area, there are so many Asian and half Asian kids that it’s impossible to judge or be judged easily. There are three other half-Asian girls in her class of 15 kids, and another two or three in her grade as a whole. There’s such diversity on a whole that it doesn’t even seem like they see it. I can’t imagine taking her out of a place like that and making her grow up in a place like I did where many of the people were well meaning, but ignorant in very destructive ways that still live with me.

If you do move again, come here. It’s a different kind of nice, and not perfect either (people here are super polite, but not folksy and rarely truly invite you into their space), but your kids may appreciate it in ways they’ll never understand.

Solitary Mama

I’ve heard Seattle is really nice, Mike. The only thing about moving is I like being near my family. I think it’s good for my daughter too.
Solitary Mama

Also, your stories (yours and your ex-wife’s) are a bit heartbreaking. Luckily things are a better for our kids, and will be even greater for there’s.

Mike

Hahaha, I wasn’t aware that they were ALL heartbreaking. I promise I won’t comment again until I have something genuinely uplifting to say

http://thankq4commonsense.blogspot.com/ Q

I last visited MN in ’99 for a family reunion. I kind of like it up there. Well, let me rephrase: I like it up there from May 1st to Halloween. I was there once after Thanksgiving and I almost froze to death! It was like my clothes didn’t even work.

I have some military in my family, but all of my cousins were born/raised in MS. So, despite my uncles being stationed in Germany, Japan, etc., they only made babies here. I guess that’s why we’re the Hospitality State.
Q recently posted..Careless Drivers

Solitary Mama

Surprisingly, we’re experiencing a record breaking snowless and warm Minnesota. I am certainly grateful for that because I can’t stand cold.

*snort*…Hospitality State…

http://thankq4commonsense.blogspot.com/ Q

Hospitality is probably the only thing we do well since we’re last in fitness, education and infant mortality rate. Give us at least that one thing.
Q recently posted..Careless Drivers

http://chopperpapa.com Chopperpapa

I’ve never been to Minn. Don’t know if I have a reason to ever go. Any place that has a temp that can reach below 20 degrees below zero, is somewhere I want to stay away from.
Chopperpapa recently posted..The memoir of a part time father