Stupid List Friday: 5 Things Worse Than a Pap Smear

One  of the members of Bitchery Triad is having her annual pap smear so we’re commemorating the event by blogging about it. I am pretty sure she’s thanking me right now for the announcement. Then again she probably announced it in her own blog post, since it’s Fun Friday Facts Pap Smear Edition . Let’s make her pap smear go viral.

Also, male readers may not understand the pap smear experience, so maybe this post will help put it in perspective.

5 Things that Are Worse Than a Pap Smear

1.  A Punch in the Junk

I’ve never  been punched in the junk and I don’t actually have “junk” to punch. I believe this refers to men being punched in the crotch, which as I’ve heard is pretty painful. I’ve seen guys fall on the ground sobbing and unable to get up for long periods of time after being kicked in the junk. I’m going to assume that a punch may be more painful because of the direct fist to said junk.

2.  High School Musical 1, 2 and 3

I am aware that this series is for the much younger generation. I am also aware that High School Musical isn’t intended to be meaningful and artistic. But my daughter has all three parts and all three suck really badly. Not only is the acting by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens horrid, but the plot is ridiculously unrealistic and the singing is not really that great either. I will say the dancing is pretty cool but so was the dancing in Breakin. Watching High School Musical over and over is way worse than an annual pap smear.

3.  Dogtopus Soup

Yeah, probably not ever going to let this one die. But hot dog soup is evil. And will probably kill you.

4. Kids Picking Their Noses

In the future, this will also be on the Things That Should Be Illegal list.

I just finished writing a post on nose picking over at my new gig Parent Society. Partially because I watched a kid go to town with finger to nose while at the dinner table. Not anyone in my family and not any close friends (before you guys start asking if it was your kid). Anyway, I wasn’t in any position to really do anything about it and even suggested I’ve Become My Parents cover it in his WTF Wednesday. In the end, I came up with some of my own solutions although if I’m ever in that position again, I will still probably not do anything but be disgusted. Boogers=Worse Than a Pap Smear.

5.  Getting Locked Out for Messing Up the Password

For some reason my boss and I keep getting locked out of a very important web site because one of us enters the password incorrectly three times. Three is apparently the point at which this web site determines we are hackers and just says eff it we’re locking you fools out. Which is understandable, except in order to get it straightened out you have to call and redo everything and it’s a huge pain in the ass and waste of time especially if it occurs every month.

From my tweet earlier, “Three is not enough chances. This is why pencils have erasers.” Which also reminded me of an ex who had used this same statement after doing/saying something completely breakup worthy. People make mistakes. That’s why pencils have erasers.

Needless to say I was not moved by that. Password recollection with attorneys, captchas and choosing new passwords on federal sites as well as ex boyfriends that have silly excuses for indiscretions…all worse than a pap smear. Also Glenn Grothman and his supporters, getting run over by a bus, falling out of a tree, getting stabbed with a pencil and sitting next to someone that stinks on an airplane.

Take a stab at it. What do you think is worse than a pap smear? (Fellas here’s a hint. It’s similar to a probing if you can imagine something like that.)