Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number Unless You’re Stupid

By Solitary Mama On 2012/04/02 · 32 Comments · In A to Z Challenge 2012, I Don't Know Where Else to Put This, Single Mom Relationships, Wisdom You Won't Use Anywhere, You're Not Going to Believe This Ish

Okay, I had a completely different post to kick off the A to Z Challenge – which was Anti Blogger except I realized last minute that I just did an Anti Blogger video/giveaway. I have also not written anything outside of Anti Blogger, Stupid List Friday or Bitchery in a while. So, I saved the post but we’re going to use it for B or for C or whatever letter I can skillfully attach to it without inventing a new word or spelling for something. Such as F is for Anti Flogger.

Instead, I want to cover this “age ain’t nothing but a number fallacy.” First of all, age matters because everyone is fairly stupid until they hit 30. I am sorry, I was and everyone I knew was, and if you aren’t 30 yet, you are too. That’s just how life works. You don’t get really smart until 30 and by 40 you’re almost a frickin genius. I don’t make the rules. If you don’t like it take it to Jesus.

Proof occurred today while I was eating with my daughter and a table of 20 year old girls were jabbering away next to us. Loudly and obnoxiously. And it was all “likes” and “oh em gees!” and “whatevers” with that “Becky look at her butt” tone. My 8 year old even said “Man, they talk too much. And they’re too loud.” So I figure, you’re kinda smart before twenty (like around the age of 8 ) and then you get stupid and then you get smart again at 30.

That shit was annoying and reminded me of a time a few years back when I did briefly “see” someone who was far too young for me to be “seeing”. It was for the most part, everything fantastic you would imagine when a 20 something dates a 30 something. I’ll let you think about that for a minute.

But it was stupid. I can’t say “he” was stupid because he was super sensitive about being accused of being stupid, but the conversations typically went like this:

Him: ”What are you doing?”

Me: ”I’m out with my sister.”

Him: ”You liar. You don’t even have a sister.”

Me: ”What the fack? Uh yeah, I do have a sister. What’s your problem?”

Him: ”I haven’t seen you in ___ days. And you said you had a brother. Not a sister.”

Me: ”Really dumb ass? You know this isn’t China. Some families have a brother and also a sister. I’m not arguing with you about whether I have a sister.”

Him: ”I can’t believe you just called me dumb.”

And this…

Me: ”You know, you make simple things difficult.”

Him: ”I can’t believe you just called me stupid.”

Me: ”Wait. What? I didn’t call you stupid…”

Him: ”Uh yeah, you did. I make simple things difficult. I’m stupid…”

Me: ”Nevermind dude. I’ll talk to you later.”

The next day…

Me: ”How’s your day going?”

Him: ”I’m too stupid to know if I’m having a bad day…”

Me: ”hahahahahah…”

Him: ”Glad you think that’s funny. You think everything is funny.”

Me: ”Hahahahahah.”

And this is why, I cannot date a 20 something year old guy (or girl) to this day. Incidentally, I will be 39 in a few months. I am happy to be at that age where although most of the world is too young for me to date, there is rarely anyone that is too old.

Would you date someone 10 or more years younger than you are? And does age matter to you ?

Happy 2012: Guess What Suckas Now It's the End of the World

Stupid List Friday #1: 5 Reasons I Won't Chew My Arm Off

Stupid List Friday: 5 Types of Old People You Can Probably Punch

Tagged with: A is for Age • A to Z Challenge 2012 • Dont call stupid people stupid • he's probably still hot though • he's too young for you • Look but don't date that fool • you are probably too old for him

http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

No, because someone ten years younger than me would be 19, and 19-year-old boys are crap in the sack. I know, I’ve tried. Several times. The only exception is man-whores, and, well, they have their uses, but not for dating. I’m kinda leery of dating someone ten years older than me, too, cause he’s usually just been through a (probably messy) divorce, is going through a midlife crisis, and will ditch me for a teenager when he discovers I’m older than I look — but not before dying his hair purple, dangling a shark tooth around his neck and parading around in a muscle-shirt. Not to mention (significantly) older men are often very condescending. Like, keep treating me like a child, dude, that really turns me on. *rolls eyes*

I’ll be 30 in like six months. I can feel the smartness like, *growing* on me. Oh em gee.
Marjorie McAtee recently posted..Fun Friday Facts #32: Relationships Edition

http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Old Ass Cari

We need to throw you a birthday party, MM. Unless you’re knocked up, then we’ll throw you a shower.
Old Ass Cari recently posted..And So It Begins…."A"

http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

I’m not knocked up, thank god…apparently, I just *look* like I’m pregnant. *sigh*
Marjorie McAtee recently posted..Fun Friday Facts #32: Relationships Edition
http://osakabentures.com/ Saul Fleischman @applications development Japan

Can I help? Either with the party or the-

Solitary Mama

You obviously have something against shark tooths.

http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

Also I was going to say that it sounds like the stupid 20-something was really just stupid and it probably had nothing to do with his age, so he’ll remain stupid for the rest of his life, bless him.
Marjorie McAtee recently posted..Fun Friday Facts #32: Relationships Edition

Solitary Mama

Hotness is a distraction. A very dangerous distraction.

http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Old Ass Cari

No, I would not date someone 10 years younger. I’d feel like I’m babysitting. Plus most dudes in their twenties are missing some very important dating pre-requisites in my book: a car, a job, they probably have roommates and I just don’t want to deal with all that foolishness.
Old Ass Cari recently posted..And So It Begins…."A"

Solitary Mama

I guess if you’re old ass I’m elderly-and-may-pee-on-myself Christina.

http://www.terryartworxstudio.com Tim Terry

) It is a good article! But in all honesty I would not want to date a woman younger than I am by more than 10 or 12 years…because you really cannot relate to each other on a scale of the whole. There might be an exception or two…I think I really did not wise up until my 40′s but then I can be ADD, but when I learn I learn better than anyone! )) Thanks for the post!

Solitary Mama

I find it difficult to relate with younger people (relationship wise) also. Unless they just act old as shit, or I act young as shit, it probably isn’t going to work. (not in my case anyway) Thanks for stopping by, Tim.

http://chasingserenity09.blogspot.com Angel

I would definitely not date someone ten years younger, I have tried just a few years younger and it just never works. I was fairly wise in my late twenties, though I still chose to do idiot shot from time to time. But I can recognize the uselessness of dating a moron (no offense to any of the guys out there I haven’t dated, if I have and we aren’t anymore there’s a reason). I dated a guy a some years ago who even though he was 5 or 6, ok maybe 7 years younger than me, he thought he could control me. Tell me what to do, dictate my comings and goings, you know the type. It took me all of two months to recognize what was going on and squash his ass like a bug. I don’t care how old you are or aren’t, no one talks to me that way. Period. So no, no young-un dating for me.

Absolutely love that your eight year old can recognize the annoying tendencies of young people, go you!
Angel recently posted..Age of Allowance

Solitary Mama

The control issue seems to exist in men of all ages. For some strange reason.

http://chasingserenity09.blogspot.com Angel

Yeah it does, but I am not one to be controlled. I’m kind of a my way or the highway kind of biatch, but hey that just gives the morons a reason to say “hey, you know why your single, cause I do”(in very stupid surfer 2IQ voice). Yes, yes I do, it’s because of idiots like you. *sweet smile and walk away*
Angel recently posted..Age of Allowance

http://www.theworld4realz.com/ Andi-Roo

STFU… you are NOT almost 40!!! Seriously? That’s nuts! I took you all to be in your 20′s. For realz. I’m not just sucking up for walnuts.

I’m 36 & Mr. Andi-Roo is almost 35. Everyone I’ve ever “dated” (I use that term loosely because usually there were no dates involved; just being honest & keeping it real) has been within one or two years of my own age, so I have no experience with which to judge. Altho my Mom-in-Law is 10 years older than her hubs, & they’ve been married over 15 years now. So I guess it can work?

Still… I’m stuck on all you girls being almost or in your 30′s. Let’s go back to that.
Andi-Roo recently posted..Andi-Roo

Solitary Mama

You are going to get me beat up. They are not in almost 40. I think I am the only one.

http://chasingserenity09.blogspot.com Angel – Not quite 40

I will be 32 this year, but I look younger more often than not. Or so I am told. I have got nothing on you though girl, there is no way you are 38!! I realize 38 is not old, but you look amazing, I thought surely I was older than you! I am sure you know this but it’s always nice to hear (or read as the case may be) you really are a beautiful woman! And your humor just adds to it!
Angel – Not quite 40 recently posted..Age of Allowance

Solitary Mama

I am I am. Thus I have to be funny. Otherwise I’m just crochety.

http://lostinsidethecovers.wordpress.com Elisa

Ten years is too much for me, can’t handle the crap I have been through already, at least too much of it. And, while all ages have their issues, I really can’t deal with those dealt with in the 20′s any longer! Great post
Elisa recently posted..A is for African Gray

Solitary Mama

My mom had an African Gray. Funny birds those things are.

I definitely don’t want to replay the 20s, through mine or anyone else’s eyes actually.

WNed

Thanks for making me feel like a total geezer, kids. I’m old enough to know that there are smart, stupid, sexy, fugly, fun, and dirt-dull people of all ages, just the same as with race or gender. There are people who have lived very long lives but have little experience of life, and young people who have experienced far too much.
And yet, I agree, “age is just a number” is bullshit. Time does things to everybody. Not the same things to each, but nobody goes unmolested.
As far as dating… fat chance to begin with, but age would have little to do with it. She’d have to be reasonably attractive, reasonably intelligent, have some sense of empathy, and not be constantly angry at me for being a man… it gets old.

Solitary Mama

Only you can make yourself feel like a total geezer, Nedley. Only you.

http://www.angelaparsonmyers.blogspot.com Angela Parson Myers

Honey, at my age you grab anybody who can still push your wheelchair. : – )
Angela Parson Myers recently posted..My Mother’s Mirrors

Solitary Mama

That’s how I choose who I might date. By strength and ability to carry me and or push a wheel chair.

http://www.amberrisme.com Amberr Meadows

I dated someone 8 years younger once and thought he was only 4 years younger until it came time to be carded at a bar… He barely spoke English, which worked our brilliantly, because he wasn’t that interesting when I spoke to him in Spanish, either. Therefore, much of our communication was non-verbal. My favorite age saying I posted on FB a week or so ago:

“Age is nothing but a number. Oh, yeah? Jail is nothing but a room.”
Amberr Meadows recently posted..A is For (Google) Analytics: Welcome to Part 1 of the Blogging Basics Series

Solitary Mama

I dated someone that didn’t really speak English too. I would say that was one of my best relationships but then I’d probably look like a bitch. Oh wait. Nevermind.

I’m using that jail is nothing but a room thing next time Justin Bieber look alike asks me out…

http://www.tatterscoops.com Maureen | Tatter Scoops

OMG hahahaha you are crackin’ me up!
Uhm…so glad I’ve made it to my 30+ and had wisen up for sure.
I did went out on a date with a guy younger than me by 3 or 4 years last year so he was around 29. Ugh it was a mess for sure. Nah, being a cougar isn’t my thing.
Maureen | Tatter Scoops recently posted..What I Learned From A Mistress

Solitary Mama

I could probably handle 3 or 4 years younger. I’m lying. Never mind. Glad I got wiser too. It’s a hard life being stupid forever.

http://robertlarend.blogspot.com/ The Robert

I could date a woman 20 years younger than me, but The Sweety won’t let me, and she’s 6 years younger…..
The Robert recently posted..SPOOKY!

Solitary Mama

The Sweety should probably kick The Robert’s ass one of these days.

http://darkstormyloopy.blogspot.com/ WowThatWasAwkward

Twelve years younger has been the bottom of the scale (so far, heh) and five years older the top. I’m 44 now, so show me how smart you are and do the math. I think at the young end of the scale, it has to be a really mature woman or it won’t work at all. And maybe it’s my own childlike behavior, but I’ve found older than me hasn’t really worked. I think my sweet spot is 39 year old Asians living in the midwest.
WowThatWasAwkward recently posted..Mysterious Bunny

Solitary Mama

I don’t think you understand how close I am to being a genius. Are you sure you want to mess with that? I’ll let you think about it til the next post…