He’s Butt Hurt Over Your Blog aka Is This Blog Post About Me?

By Solitary Mama On 2012/04/10 · 27 Comments · In A to Z Challenge 2012, Guess Who Asked Me Out, I Don't Know Where Else to Put This, Single Mom Relationships, Solitary Mama, Wisdom You Won't Use Anywhere

I used to feel uncomfortable when I went to family events and everyone would ask “are these jumping jacks going on your blog?” or “did you catch that joke I told? Are you going to blog that?” I’d spend a lot of time reassuring them that none of their embarrassing comments about what their teenager uses their razors to shave would appear on my blog. I also never use names. It gets weird when people start acting differently and talking to you like “How do you do, Ms. Majaski,” and you’re all like “Stop it, grandpa. You don’t even talk like that. I’m not blogging this. Swear.”

Nowadays I don’t care. I do pay attention to the privacy of others and I would never share anything that I really believed should not be shared with the world. I am generally a private person. I don’t even believe in Facebook statuses that include private information. My kid is only online in a couple places which should be enough proof of this.

But blogging brings yet another variable to the complicated world of dating and friendship-type relationships. I first realized this may be a problem when a couple of exes were literally pouring their souls out into comments on my blog. I did not approve those, not because they said anything offensive, but because I believed that one day they might regret publicizing their feelings on my blog.

Should You Tell Him About Your Blog?

I’m beginning to think the answer is no. I’ve received countless messages, emails, and texts regarding specific posts.

Is it about me or I’m sorry if I did that or I guess according to your blog I’m doing something wrong.

Him: You clearly have a problem with me.

Me: Why?

Him: I read it on your blog.

Fine. I'm going to start my own blog then.

Before I go any further, I must interject with the following statement: If I have written about you, you’ll know. Meaning you know without a doubt I am speaking to you because I’ve told you the same shit I put on the blog. I do not use my blog as your personal messenger. If I want you to know something you are doing that annoys me…please trust that I will come right out and tell you.

Because I am known for saying what’s on my mind. Don’t believe me? Check out this and this from my good friends Nicole and Angel (who by the way, are both kick ass bloggers and super hot women). I do not have to send you a subliminal message via Solitary Mama…besides, that’s creepy and at this point in my life, I try to keep my creepy factor down in order to attract people, not freak them out.

So do me a favor, if you read my blog, enjoy and try to be entertained. Do not take it personally, do not text me and message me crying about something I wrote.

You’re so vain I bet you think this blog is about you- Carly Simon

Even if you choose not to tell him you blog, if you are friends on Facebook, he will likely find out and then it appears as though you were keeping a blog secret. You can choose to just not friend anyone you are dating (and thus avoid the sticky when are you changing your status question) or, you can stick to dating guys that are completely clueless about the internet and wouldn’t have any idea what a blog is in the first place (I did. I did. There may only be 2 of those left).

Do you share your blog with friends and prospective dates? Would you be concerned about dating a relationship, lifestyle or parenting blogger? Also, this could explain why the Guess Who Asked Me Out series was only 2 posts (with one being an elderly woman). Hmmm….

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Tagged with: A to Z Blogging Challenge • and also it's about you • dating • friendships • relationships • this blog is totally about you

fortunecookie

Well said…

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

I know. Next time leave me my fortune cookie message. And it better be good.

http://twitter.com/ChasingSerenity Angel Kirk

Love this, and thank you for the shout out!! I have just recently come across this. My grandmother seems to think I’m hilarious and should write a book on what parents shouldn’t do. Lately though my friends have made it a point to say “Hey, don’t blog about this” perhaps it is the recent influx of posts I have been making, but seriously people even if I do blog about it, and I make no promises to the contrary, I will never use your name. I wouldn’t want someone to do it to me, so I extend the same courtesy. There are times that things are just too funny not to share. Dating a blogger would be interesting I think, I’m not sure it would bother me, I just think you would have to set the ground rules in the beginning. I am a pretty personal person too, and don’t post half the things I actually could, just because putting yourself out there is hard sometimes.

Great post chick!!!

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

Yeah I suppose ground rules are okay unless the person’s blog is already established. I’m not going to start changing things for every person I date (which incidentally is zero right now). I also think your grandma is right. You should totally write a book about parenting.

http://www.facebook.com/wned.livingston W Ned Livingston

I *love* that song… ’cause it’s about ME!

I notice you’ve been considerate enough not to blog about those things I’ve fantasized about you saying… very cool.

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

It’s all about you, Nedley.

Cari Wegner

Nobody ever says don’t put this in your blog to me. Probably because they don’t even read it most likely, and I have like 10 people that actually read me. Also I don’t write about people I know, even the ones I don’ like. Except when I talked about my bff’s boobs in two posts just to see if she was reading. Even then she wasn’t sure it was her. I generally don’t tell people I blog. It makes it weird and then they stalk you and read your blog 10 times a day. I would feel very uncomfortable dating someone who openly wrote about dates or relationships, probably be a deal breaker from the get go.

Your Grampa sounds hilarious, and I’m calling you Ms. Majaski from this point on.

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

Completely made that up about Grandpa. Mine are both no longer with us and I don’t think either one knew I blogged. Sorry. But if you still want to pretend like you’re my grandpa that’s cool.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Todd-Jacobs/1034636334 Todd Jacobs

I thought when you referred to Grandpa you were referring to me…

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

I was. I call you Grandpa Todd all the time.

http://ciaraballintyne.com Ciara Ballintyne

Interesting! Like you, if you pissed me off, I will tell you arse. If I thought it, I said it. I won’t say it behind your back unless I also said it to your face. FIRST. At volume.

And yet, despite, this, like you I also have problems with people thinking I meant something I didn’t say to their face. Not my blog, just offline stuff. I had a friendship break down for 3 years because she thought I said something I didn’t (or at least not in the way she thought) and didn’t ask me. When if she’d just remembered I wouldn’t have said it about her behind her back unless I’d also said it to her face, there wouldn’t have been a problem – and yes, I’ve said THAT to her face as well .

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

Yeah, you totally have to ask me because half the time I won’t even figure out you’re mad at me. I believe we may be soul sisters, Ciara.

http://twitter.com/thefadderly Fadderly

I just was talking about this with my buddy. I said: ”i wonder if everyone around me is getting paranoid any given moment will end up in my blog”. He said: “yep. they are.”

meh…whatever. i’m ok with it. i exaggerate so much in my writing that only if i write about any given moment, only the tiniest sliver is actually true…

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

Weird, right? I can’t think of one time I read a blog post and thought they were talking about me. Never dated a blogger though. That could be why I guess.

http://www.xtalrose.com/ Chrystal

I love this. My current boyfriend hardly reads my blog anymore (which the central focus is dating/relationships/sex) but my most recent ex would text me a few minutes after a post and quote something a said with a few question marks.For example: “Italian men are only good for one thing”?????Um yes, that’s what I wrote– why are you quoting me? Do you disagree? Because after that I put “and half the time they aren’t even good at that!” You aren’t even Italian and yes I’ve had sex before you and I started dating…I’m similar to you, if I think or feel something about you– you’ll know it. Because I’ve told you.I think when you write and reference your own experiences, putting them out there for all to (potentially) see, it makes men especially nervous. Dates used to ask me all the time– are you going to blog about this or am I gonna make it into your next book?I’d respond– Would you even want that and why are you so arrogant to think I’d write about you?That tends to shut them up.

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

hahahah… i love that “you aren’t even Italian…”

Marjorie McAtee

Yes, I tell them about my blog. I don’t just tell them about my blog, I insist that they read it, because I require a dude to shower my work with effusive praise before I’ll even *consider* thinking about maybe analyzing his potential as BF material.

Besides, given some of the things I blog about, this maybe a way of weeding out the a-holes. Once this guy I was flirting with was all, “I was *going* to ask you out but then I read your blog,” and I was like, “WTF dude,” and he was all like, “Can’t you take a joke, why are you so so sensitive” and I was all, “Clearly you are a douche.”

You don’t need to date any of these guys anyway, since they’re so simultaneously insecure AND self-centered as to think that your blog MUST be about them. After all, nothing could be more important to you than man you have been dating for a (presumably) short time, right? Sheesh.

I would like to get out of friending everyone I date on Facebook, not just to avoid the “status change” issue (which hasn’t come up yet, because the people I date don’t believe in that kind of thing), but also to steer clear of kissy-wissy wall posts and general romantic drama aired where everyone I know including my second and fourth grade teachers can see it. I don’t need some dude going all stalkerface on my Facebook. But then if you don’t friend them there’s always the “Did you get my friend request” convo or if you de-friend them there’s the “Why did you de-friend me” convo cause for some reason they’re not smart enough to put two and two together and realize you de-friended them because they’re doing in the neighbor’s 19 year old au pair. So, you know, date guys who don’t believe in Facebook. That is, if you can stand listening to their smug lectures about how you really ought to switch to Linux.

Wow, that was a long comment. I ought to turn this into my own blog post.

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

Well if you dated men over the age of 70 you are sure to avoid the whole Facebook kissy wissy friend unfriend thing because all they care about are mashed potatoes and whether you can kick ass in some bingo. (My relationship advice for the day. You’re welcome.)

And yes, you should definitely blog it. This is helpful shit.

Marjorie McAtee

I’m totally going to have to rip off my own comment. Let’s see how well I know my SEO.

sevwinters

Yeah, but THIS post is totally about me. Right?

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

Totally expected more of that…

http://workingberlinmum.blogspot.de/ Workingberlinmum

I’ve had the same and my blog has provided a way for one ex totry and keep communication up with me. My big issue is when I meet new men, when I start dating, how they can get to know me without the blog first. I had one ex who I found out had read my blog without telling me, I only discovered it because I was on his computer once, started typing in ‘wor’ to look for something and then my blog popped up (from a previous viewing his computer had in memory). I also had one ex who read pretty much every past post and then proceeded to question me about alot of them. I’d prefer people to get to know the full me, not just the blog me.
I still love blogging though.

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

I bet there are more people reading than we know….good thing to keep in mind. Although I prefer that the blog is read as entertaining or thought provoking (hahah. yeah) and not a means for stalking.

http://www.amberrisme.com Amberr Meadows

Hell, I can barely get people I know in real life to even read my blog–including my brother. Buttwad. It does suck when the exes think it’s about them, and they are so off. Loved the video reference. Memories…
http://www.theworld4realz.com/ Andi-Roo

I’m fortunate in that my hubz is the one putting my blog up, so he reads it all & laughs at the appropriate spots or shakes his head if he thinks I’ve crossed a line (I make him post it anyway). I’m *UN*-fortunate in that my parents are scary Baptist sorts who are completely offended over the majority of what I write… so they stopped reading after like my second post. Which hurts my feelings & makes me sad cuz God knows I still need their validation for some sick reason. I blog about everybody in my life, including my douche ex & his double-douche hoe bag of a girlfriend, but I figure they can kiss my fkn grits cuz I’d say it all to their face if prompted (which they know). So yeah, I’m wide open, baby. Read ‘em & weep. Andi-Roo is not to everyone’s taste, but that’s okay cuz most peeps aren’t to mine, either.

Andi-Roo
/// @theworld4realz

http://www.theworld4realz.com/

theworldforrealz@gmail.com

http://socialmediasun.com/ Adam Justice

Double Douche Hoe Bag is the word of the day kids. Let’s see how many times you can work that into your conversations tomorrow.