I Have a Crush On You. Now What?

By Solitary Mama On 2012/04/04 · 24 Comments · In A to Z Challenge 2012, I Don't Know Where Else to Put This, Single Mom Relationships

C is for Crush, as in I find you interesting. I like chatting with you. I think you are a super duper great guy that only annoys me occasionally.

Most of these things tend to occur online lately, which depending on how you look at it, can be either way safer or way weirder. Do you really ever know anyone online? Or do you only get to know the best parts that he or she has cropped and instagrammed and sometimes photoshopped to share with the world?

Because I do that with the pictures. Minus photoshopping because I don’t know how to do all that nor do I have the patience. Just to be clear though, I am not a fat bald man lurking from a basement.

I am guessing it’s fairly typical these days to have crushes on people you haven’t actually met. So, when you do feel all swooney and fluttery, what do you do?

Do you:

A) Keep acting like a dork and tweeting “I’d kick you in your nuts if I met you in person.”

B) Ask them for their phone number and threaten to stalk them.

C) Do nothing because they are probably your ex boyfriend pretending to be someone else.

D) Some other brilliant suggestion. Please share.

Note: At one time I wanted to look like the Jets.

Also, this post is dedicated to you, crush. One day we will laugh about this. Okay, maybe you won’t. I will though. And no, I am not talking about the crush I have on liquor…

Happy 2012: Guess What Suckas Now It's the End of the World

Stupid List Friday: 5 Types of Old People You Can Probably Punch

Stupid List Friday : 5 Signs the Text Conversation Is Over

Tagged with: A to Z Challenge 2012 • crush • Good god look at their clothes • Ive got a crush on you and I mean you • okay I still dress like that • The Jets

http://robertlarend.blogspot.com/ The Robert

‘Tis better to have had a crush than to never have had a crush at all, provided you are never crushed by it__William Shakyspear….

Solitary Mama

Not trying to get crushed by anything, The Robert or uh William Shakyspear…

http://www.bubblegumonmyshoe.com Cari

Well, if it’s not liquor, it must be me. Online crushes are for the birds, you do only see what that person wants you to see. Same goes with online friends. But then again, the same is true for dating irl for the first few dates. Maybe over time you can get a better sense of who they are and if they are texting from prison. I say it is what it is, a crush, but you have to meet them in person at some point or I don’t think you ever really know them at all. Also you should meet them in a public place, never drive them anywhere, and let somebody know you are meeting them, just in case you end up in the river. I know, very romantic.
Cari recently posted..Cookie…Crack…Same Difference

Solitary Mama

Great advice. I definitely don’t want to find out my crush is texting from prison. Have you heard how they get the phones in there sometimes?

Okay, maybe it is you. Or liquor. I’m lying now.

http://www.nicolehumphrey.net Nicole

Simply awesome. There are no words. I think you should go with A. Also, you are far superior to anyone from the Jets, even if you do edit your photos. And no, I’ve met a lot of people online and have yet to find one who looks EXACTLY like their photos. Too many people know how to photoshop now.
Nicole recently posted..C is for Crave: Top 5 Things I Crave

Solitary Mama

i know. Photoshop made us all paranoid. Although I suppose it shouldn’t really matter what someone looks like, photoshopping seems a bit deceitful. Plus if I had the skillz I’d be photoshopping animal heads on my body and stuff. Nothing nearly as hot as one would think.

http://darkstormyloopy.blogspot.com/ WowThatWasAwkward

I like this post. Some people are really good at hiding behind a keyboard. I think it’s pretty easy to weed out the authentic ones though. The answer is E) You talk about their beaver. That doesn’t help you unless you are crushing on someone nutless.

I think you are smart and know exactly what to do.
WowThatWasAwkward recently posted..Mysterious Bunny

Solitary Mama

Yeah. My crush probably doesn’t have a beaver. I have rendered your comment unhelpful and most likely really bad advice.

Unless you have a dead unicorn. Then maybe.

http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com Lance

After our sister-in-law conversation a couple of days ago, maybe this is my big brother instinct kicking in, but I’d be wary. I’ve never had a good experience with online crushes or that sort of thing.

I agree with andi-roo, you’re better than a Jet

Solitary Mama

Why thank you, Lance. You can be my big brother anytime. I do have a brother who is a year younger but is still considered my “big” bro. Pretty sure he’d tell me the same about being wary.

http://www.amberrisme.com Amberr Meadows

And since I hate the triberr commenting (sorry, just not sold on it as it is), I’m also duplicating my comment here, because I can, and because I am annoying…

Now that’s interesting. I might even know who the crush is, but then again, probably not. Find out how awful they are in person before you get to swooney. That is all.
Amberr Meadows recently posted..Community Building: Part 3 of the Blogging Basics Series

Solitary Mama

It works great, however I don’t like that it appears first in the commenting. People have messaged asking me how to comment because they aren’t in triberr. I am considering removing it.

http://dontcallmemarge.com Marjorie McAtee

Online crushes always turn out to be douchebags IRL. With bad breath. There’s a reason their friends aren’t fixing them up with ppl the old fashioned way.

PS — It’s me.
Marjorie McAtee recently posted..3 Bitchery Basics (A Bitchery Triad Post)

Solitary Mama

You might be right. Not sure why an online friend would be more likely to have bad breath than offline but I believe you.

It isn’t you. I wouldn’t tell you if it was either.

WNed

What the hell… if it’s an on line crush, what have you got to worry about? It’s like the first half of Cyrano… before anybody finds out that the smokin’ hunk is getting all his big-people words from a freak. Everybody’s happy! As long as it remains on line, who gives a good god damn.

Besides, where else are you ever going to find someone who only annoys you sometimes?

Solitary Mama

Very good point, Ned. I think IRL I’d either figure out he’s annoying as shit, or he’ll figure out that I am.

WNed

First rule of Online Club… OK, SECOND rule of Online Club: What gets crushed online, stays online!

http://chasingserenity09.blogspot.com Angel

I know people who have met their significant other on the net, and I also know people who have gone on dates with people they met online and it was a disaster. I think it’s like Russian roulette, sometimes you just get lucky. I personally would like to have the not-a-boyfriend to chat with that I never actually have to make time for, but that doesn’t usually hold up for long, lol. To me, you aren’t meeting my kid so emailing back and forth in that pseudo-relationship works for me. Then again if you never actually meet then you never have to realize they are fat and yucky, even though their profile says they are athletic. Not that I would know from experience.
Angel recently posted..Dear Serenity

Solitary Mama

I need to write that down. Athletic means fat and yucky. Thanks for the heads up, Angel.

http://hypertransitory.com John Garrett

Well, I’ll tell you what not to do when you have an online crush:

1. Never acknowledge the crush to your crush. Nothing good can come of it, trust me. Honesty? Pshaw!

2. If you’re the target of a crush. Never acknowledge the crush. Again, no good will come of it. I think the Mayans wrote something about this…

3. Never ever admit to your crush that you draw comics. You will be instantly removed from consideration as a viable sexual partner…also you may get kicked in the face -yes right through the computer monitor.

I think that sums it all up…

ALSO – the Jets broke it down with that one. ‘Curiosity’ is also one of my faves. I actually met the Jets when they were performing in (of all places), Appleton WI when I was going to college there back in the 90′s. What a small world..!
John Garrett recently posted..Monday Comics – The WRATH of Old Man Winter PT 2

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Solitary Mama

I had a date once whose big confession was that he collected comic books. In a way I was relieved. Yet, the fact that he felt he needed to confess such a thing kind of bugged me. I’m sure it’s different for guys that draw comics.

sevwinters

I think in your heart of hearts you know what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s worth looking into…either now, or at a later…. more appropriate time. Meeting someone online is just like meeting them elsewise… In fact, MAYBE more so, because you meet and talk without the pretense that you might someday take it offline. In my experience, it is MORE honest… and MORE intimate, and gets heavier faster for lack of the requisite down time that occurs when you just sit together and, mouths shut, watch a movie.

http://www.solitarymama.com/ Christina Majaski

You think you know sometimes. You know how that goes. Hardly anything online is real. Actually, there’s a lot of fake shit in real life, too. As we both know.

sevwinters

Well, time has a funny way of fleshing out the truth. Take your time… don’t rush anything… and in time, the truth becomes evident. It’s the rush jobs that fuck everything up